During a professional development workshop today, I took part in a number of activities which were designed to reveal to us our unique personality and temperament types. As it turns out, I am an Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Perceptive type (INFP). Whilst us INFPs are all about harmony, peace, love and striving for a life of purpose, it was also pointed out to us that our greatest gifts often turn out to be our biggest challenges. The causes we champion and strive to promote can often be the trigger for us losing our biscuit IF the importance of these causes are lost on others. Sometimes, when those others do their very best to bring down the causes we champion, we can be prone to unfavourable outbursts of vitriol and darkness. I had such an outburst last week on Crackbook.
After I posted my rant about a trophy hunting cheerleader from the USA, I realised that the content was not going to be received favourably by all 37 of my Crackbook friends. I knew that people would judge me for my choice of words. I knew that people would see my choice of words in this instance as compromising the "normal" nature of my average Crackbook posts. I love Reiki, I love nature, I love my family, I often post positive affirmations and photos of the people and things I love. However, I also post comments about the woeful state of politics and animals rights in this country. And occasionally, I get very dark and angry, and my shadow self posts how I feel about these things.
Sometimes, I feel a very deep sense of conflict when I post what may be construed by some as "negative thoughts". Am I poisoning the atmosphere with my thoughts? Am I allowed to express anything other than sweetness and light just because I dare to profess my love for the spiritual path? Am I black and white? No. I am many shades of all the beautiful colours of the rainbow. I have an opinion on many things that count, and I dare to voice them. I care about my world, and all the living creatures that make up that landscape. If I do not express all my colours, am I not inadvertently a fraud? If I pretend to be one thing and withold the truth about my shadow self, am I not misrepresenting myself?
Maybe I am a little spirited and volcanic at times. But at least I show my true colours, all the shades of my rainbow. And for that, I can rest easy, for you do not need to guess where I stand, or what I stand for. It is easy to be selective about what you choose to show others about yourself. It is much harder to live honestly and show your scraps and flaws.